I nearly called this particular blog “NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOO!” But thought that might sound a bit too negative! Negative however is how I start feeling when I watch mindless television presenters saying stupid, thoughtless things without stopping to consider the ramifications of their words.
For example? Well, on a particular morning news show a little while ago, the panel were gossiping about Jodie Meares. Just so you know, Jodie Meares was once (may still be for all I know) considered one of Australia’s most beautiful models. She married James Packer (newspaper boy) and was divorced from him some time later. The television panel were gossiping because James Packer’s new girlfriend/wife (whatever she is) had just had a baby and the Jodie Meares had left the country, supposedly to avoid being depressed by all the media surrounding the delivery of one of the world’s richest babies.
That’s not what depressed me. What depressed me was one presenter’s comment that went “Oh she’ll be fine. She’s young, she’s lovely and she’s beautiful, it won’t be long before some guy snaps her up.”
This is where I start screaming NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!!!!
Firstly the presenter is presuming that Ms Meares wants to be ‘snapped up’. Secondly the way the sentence is phrased, it sounds like one of Australia’s most beautiful model is both passive and powerless in this ‘snapping up’ process. Why isn’t she doing the snapping? She’s got the looks, the personality and the cred, why isn’t she actively selecting the men she wants?
Lastly and most importantly, why couldn’t the presenter just have said “She’s beautiful, she’s lovely and she’s smart, she’ll be just fine.” Why does she need the presence of a man (or indeed any kind of partner) in order to be ‘fine’? Why can’t she be just fine surrounded by family and friends?
This situation is similar to a very old episode of an Australian soap I once watched. The girl in question had just broken up with her boyfriend and was crying on her mother’s shoulder. Mother stroked her hair and said “It’s all right darling, one day your prince will come…”
Well really! What kind of a mother has her daughter standing around waiting for prince charming? A real mother would be saying “Darling I know you’re upset but really, if he can’t see that you’re beautiful, funny and smart, then he’s not worth your time.” or “It’s okay sweetheart. You’ll be just great all on you’re own. You were perfect before he came along and you’ll be perfect again, just give yourself time to get over this.” A real mother would have said anything but what basically amounted to ‘you’re right, you’re not good enough without a guy.”
And before you ask, no I’m not a lesbian (although I have some friends who are), no I’m not single and bitter because I’m a man hater. I’m a happily ‘relationshipped’ mother of two who is shocked and appalled by the things we tell our girls about what it is to be female.
This is (quite obviously) my bugbear. I truly believe that words create thoughts. We should be speaking constantly to ourselves and to others as though they are each worthy human beings in their own right. We are individuals people. Let’s practise speaking and behaving as though that’s true!